John Kruk: Confirmed Big Clubhouse Porn Guy
So this is what happens when there’s no commercial breaks during games on Facebook and ya gotta fill the time. You find out John Kruk was the porn guy in the clubhouse. Well, no, this isn’t what happens, but it happened nonetheless. And I gotta say, it’s somehow both surprising and not surprising at all. There’s one in every clubhouse, and you do what you have to do to help the squad come together. Right? The Red Sox gassed beers and fried chicken. The Cubs played Mario Kart 64. The ’93 Phillies sauced, gambled, and Somehow both surprising and clutched their sticks. And I highly doubt the likes of Kruker, Dykstra, and Dutch were staring at the TV like a goddamn 3D Magic poster trying to see through the scrambled. We’re talking the best of the best VHS or Skinamax had to offer. Whatever it takes, Dude. Whatever it takes.
The only thing the Kruker loves more than his porn is his cheesesteaks that come doused in…mayonnaise? Hey, whatever floats the boat. If John Kruk likes his cheesesteaks with mayo then let’s Hope Solo that shit up with a good ol’ fashioned creampie. Long live The Kruker.
PS – Kruk’s old school appearances on Letterman are genuinely funny. Def worth checking out.